I’m carrying a post-Christmas food baby and lounging around the house in my pyjamas, all while binge-watching Harry Potter and episodes of Judge Judy. I have been doing this a lot lately as I haven’t burst into 2018 with motivation, optimism and ambition but simply floated from one year to the next with a sense apprehension and realism.
I have been absent from my blog for a short time as my head has been cloudy and I haven’t been able to concentrate for more than 5 minutes. Unfortunately, the latter part of 2017 was not been a good one for myself and Jamie. We experienced loss. We sadly lost both Jamie’s mum and Jamie’s grandad only weeks before Christmas alongside losing our wonderful rabbit companion Dolly just months before. The weeks that have passed since then have been surreal and well, rather empty. Among the chaos of Christmas, our household was moving slowly and emotion took control of everyday life.
Losing family members is heartbreaking and it is a saddening time for all involved, but for me, the biggest struggle has been watching my best friend and soul mate lose his best friend. His mother. And all I could do was sit by and watch.
A strong, generous and kind-hearted woman, Sue would take care of anyone before herself. A woman who single-handedly raised a fantastic son, for which I thank her, I feel fortunate that I had the pleasure of knowing Sue for over four years.
It pains me knowing that she will never share the important milestone moments in mine and Jamie’s life and how we are now left to somehow figure out how to carry on. We will miss her terribly and there will always be an empty space in our lives and in our hearts. However, although she is no longer with us we can still cherish the memories and good times we shared with her and we have many stories to tell our friends, family and future children.
Times has been tough, we have cried together and I have hid my tears so that I can be the ‘strong’ one but Jamie and I have supported each other as much as we can and I have learned so much. I now remind myself more than ever before that I should cherish my loved ones, take care of others and myself, and I shouldn’t take things for granted. It’s simple mantras like these that I will take into 2018 and the years after this one.
We have no idea what is going to happen, we certainly can’t predict the future or see what life is going to throw at us each year. We can, however, live lives that we are proud of and spend more time with the people we love because anything can happen and one day your life may be very different.